Merchant Account Underwriting Tools

What Do You Need From Me? Nothing.

465957219Well, very little actually. What would a Fake Processor need?

Skype transcript:

[6/25/2014 10:10:26 AM] Merchant: Hi
[6/25/2014 10:10:33 AM] Fake Processor: hello
[6/25/2014 10:11:11 AM] Merchant: Redacted? yes?
[6/25/2014 10:12:26 AM] Fake Processor: who is this?
[6/25/2014 10:12:54 AM] Merchant: I was recommended to you for fake processing
[6/25/2014 10:13:08 AM] Fake Processor: ok
[6/25/2014 10:13:19 AM] Fake Processor: so what kind of sales do you have?
[6/25/2014 10:13:55 AM] Merchant: approx $8,000 USD
[6/25/2014 10:14:23 AM] Fake Processor: ok great
[6/25/2014 10:14:30 AM] Fake Processor: terms:
[6/25/2014 10:14:40 AM] Fake Processor: 30% payment
[6/25/2014 10:14:47 AM] Fake Processor: twice a week
[6/25/2014 10:14:51 AM] Fake Processor: delay 5 days
[6/25/2014 10:15:03 AM] Fake Processor: decline ratio must be less than 30%
[6/25/2014 10:15:06 AM] Fake Processor: are you ready
[6/25/2014 10:15:25 AM] Fake Processor: monday tuesday wednesday sales paid on next monday
[6/25/2014 10:15:39 AM] Fake Processor: thursday to sunday paid on next thursday
[6/25/2014 10:15:53 AM] Merchant: Yes, decline rate will be almost zero! ALL previous customers. It’s a VT?
[6/25/2014 10:16:21 AM] Fake Processor: yes
[6/25/2014 10:16:25 AM] Fake Processor: give me your email id
[6/25/2014 10:16:52 AM] Fake Processor: your account is in which bank?
[6/25/2014 10:17:45 AM] Merchant: We have multiple accounts, bank of america, wells fargo, plus 2 overseas
[6/25/2014 10:17:59 AM] Fake Processor: ok perfect
[6/25/2014 10:18:37 AM] Merchant: It will be approx. $12,000.00 USD per day is this OK?
[6/25/2014 10:18:56 AM] Fake Processor: yes
[6/25/2014 10:20:27 AM] Fake Processor: The user was created successfully.
An email has been sent. This message contains information on generating a new password. The user will need to complete this before they can login to their account.
[6/25/2014 10:20:46 AM] Merchant: OK, I understand, I’ll check it now
[6/25/2014 10:23:35 AM] Fake Processor: recieved?
[6/25/2014 10:24:30 AM] Merchant: Yes, thanks. Just reading it. Where are funds sent from each time? by wire?
[6/25/2014 10:24:38 AM] Fake Processor: by wire
[6/25/2014 10:24:42 AM] Fake Processor: in your bank account
[6/25/2014 10:25:21 AM] Fake Processor: i have more accounts too
[6/25/2014 10:25:23 AM] Merchant: it comes from within US?
[6/25/2014 10:25:26 AM] Merchant: you do?
[6/25/2014 10:25:27 AM] Fake Processor: but start with this one
[6/25/2014 10:25:31 AM] Fake Processor: panam
[6/25/2014 10:25:33 AM] Fake Processor: panama
[6/25/2014 10:25:43 AM] Merchant: OK
[6/25/2014 10:26:01 AM] Merchant: and we are talking about flat 30% correct? no other fees?
[6/25/2014 10:26:07 AM] Fake Processor: no other fee
[6/25/2014 10:26:26 AM] Fake Processor: i will need the customers name, address, and cvv only to make invoices and send to the bank
[6/25/2014 10:28:00 AM] Merchant: Is the processing very tight? I mean, no declines unless the account has no money or do lots of things have to match?
[6/25/2014 10:28:13 AM] Fake Processor: declines<30%
[6/25/2014 10:28:21 AM] Fake Processor: address match
[6/25/2014 10:28:33 AM] Merchant: AVS yes?
[6/25/2014 10:32:02 AM] Merchant: So this would be ready to use after making password?
[6/25/2014 10:32:17 AM] Fake Processor: yes
[6/25/2014 10:32:32 AM] Merchant: What do you need from me?
[6/25/2014 10:54:33 AM] Fake Processor: nothing
[6/25/2014 10:55:53 AM] Merchant: How do you pay me if you want “nothing” ?
[6/25/2014 10:56:14 AM] Fake Processor: bank details when its time of payment
[6/25/2014 11:05:23 AM] Merchant: OK, I will process what I have in a couple of hours. Thank You
[6/25/2014 11:05:32 AM] Fake Processor: ok
[6/25/2014 11:05:35 AM] Fake Processor: i have one more terminal
[6/25/2014 11:05:41 AM] Fake Processor: but that one is 3d
[6/25/2014 11:05:41 AM] Merchant: Oh you do?
[6/25/2014 11:05:48 AM] Fake Processor: if you process there i can pay you daily
[6/25/2014 11:06:00 AM] Merchant: Great!
[6/25/2014 11:06:01 AM] Fake Processor: starting from the 5th day itself
[6/25/2014 11:06:10 AM] Merchant: I can split between both?
[6/25/2014 11:06:12 AM] Fake Processor: that one is from mauritius
[6/25/2014 11:06:17 AM] Fake Processor: yes you can
[6/25/2014 11:06:40 AM] Merchant: Do I need to setup simple password for that also?
[6/25/2014 11:06:44 AM] Fake Processor: no
[6/25/2014 11:07:05 AM] Fake Processor: https://secure.netsolhost.com/www.dodoapps.com/apps/lionwave/secure/virtual_terminal/payment.
[6/25/2014 11:07:09 AM] Fake Processor: simple
[6/25/2014 11:08:13 AM] Merchant: Doesn’t seem to load
[6/25/2014 11:08:21 AM] Fake Processor: it will
[6/25/2014 11:08:30 AM] Fake Processor: i think today there is some technical issue
[6/25/2014 11:08:31 AM] Merchant: Oh I got it now
[6/25/2014 11:09:31 AM] Merchant: So same thing, just go ahead and process? and I just keep a record then send you what I did?
[6/25/2014 11:09:47 AM] Fake Processor: yes
[6/25/2014 11:11:01 AM] Merchant: OK, I can process a lot over the coming weeks, taht’s OK?
[6/25/2014 11:11:40 AM] Fake Processor: yes sure
[6/25/2014 11:12:13 AM] Merchant: You guarantee I will get paid right? I will do lower amount the first time just to make sure I get first payment. I’ll do say $5,000.00 first.
[6/25/2014 11:13:38 AM] Fake Processor: I CAN PAY YOU EVEN ADVANCES
[6/25/2014 11:13:48 AM] Fake Processor: ONCE YOU START SHOPWING THAT YOU CAN REALLY PERFORM
[6/25/2014 11:14:09 AM] Fake Processor: I CAN PAY YOU THE VERY NEXT DAY , AT 15% OF THE AMOUNT
[6/25/2014 11:15:09 AM] Merchant: OK, sounds good

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